The Aesthetics of Resignation

Do not rush me. Time alone changes me. A busy daily life trivializes truly important questions. Sometimes, it hides the questions themselves. For example, questions like these: “Where am I going?” “What is my innate temperament?” “Am I on the right path?” To bring those questions to light, solitude is necessary. Leisure is needed. A time when no one rushes me, and I do not rush myself. I must place myself there.

연말이 되면 깜짝 놀라는 사람들 연말이 되면 이렇게 놀라는 사람들이 있다. “벌써 한 해가 갔어. 믿을 수가 없네. 한 일도 없이 이렇게 1년이 지나 버리다니.” 나도 그런 부류였다. 야생에서 새로운 시도를 즐기는 DNA를 숨기고 회사원의 정체성을 이식받아 생활할 때에는 그랬다. 독립 이후에는 달라졌다. 가만히 있어도 월급이 나오거나, 가만히 있어도 승진이 되는 일이 없는 야생의 세계로

"Is this the right path?" I worried about this a lot in my 30s. “Is the path I am walking right now the right one?” “I’m walking this because others told me to, but it doesn’t feel like my path.” “This path looks decent on the surface, but it doesn’t seem to fit me.” “Walking this path makes me feel like I’m deceiving myself.” However, few people have these kinds of worries. In my 30s, I could count on one hand the people around me

Three years ago, I thought everyone would be happy if our monthly revenue reached 30 million won. So, I devised and executed a strategy to achieve that goal. We reached 30 million won. It felt like we had become rich, but nothing had really improved. We needed more people and a bigger office. Of course, I felt less anxious about the future. At least there was the cash flow coming from the 50 million won monthly revenue. Not just a few months from now, but a few years from now.

헷갈린다. 책이나 소셜미디어에서 마작가는 이렇게 말한다. 회사라는 안정을 벗어나라. 자신만의 길을 찾아라. 사람들이 좋아한다고 해서 그 길로 따라가지 마라. 마작가는 진심으로 그렇게 믿는다. 때문에 잘 나가던 사회 생활을 접고 백수가 되고, 작가가 되고, 프리랜서가 되었다. 그리고 시간이 지나면서 마작가에겐 마 편집장이라는 진화된 제 2의 정체성이 발생했다. 현실에서 마 편집장은 이렇게 말한다 (마 편집장은 출판 및

Reflection on My First Steps: In January 2020, I resolved, “From now on, I will support myself.” I wanted to create a lifelong career and do my own work without retirement. I wanted to build my own life, earning a living doing what I loved without being swayed by others. Up until then, I hadn't even considered things like corporations. I became a writer, and many people listened to my opinions. As an extension of that, my life as a freelancer began unintentionally. That