This is a comment from a subscriber.
I'm not the only one complaining about the frustration of watching videos on the author's channel, but there are some things that resonate with me, so I'm replying. I am 34 years old this year, and I went to study abroad with a doctoral program that is ranked in the world's top 5 in my field and worked hard. The Corona era occurred and I was quarantined at home while working as a teaching assistant and coursework. Feeling that it could be a story, I gave up and returned home. My parents even told me that my health comes first... I really want to do something I can enjoy, but my confidence disappears and in the end, I feel like I've failed/defeated, so I can't breathe every day. It feels like walking in the desert. If I had taken good care of my health, I had the intellectual ability to even become a professor, but since I was bad, I feel guilty and think it was my fault. The moment I become a professor of ramen, the moment I can't wear the so-called popular title in a company, what kind of existence am I at that moment? Rather, I think that I have experienced the bad luck that will happen in the future. The artist Ma left a video of what he wanted to say to subscribers in their 30s, and I sympathized with the first point. If you separate yourself from your job/title, what are you? Looking at the footprints and values I've lived up to now, I think I was nothing. Currently, I am very wandering, but when I get old, I hope that the moment will come when I say that it was fortunate that I had these thoughts when I was in my 30s. 9:31 is Csikszentmihalyi. - Subscriber Nameless
Nameless. welcome. Welcome to the world of independence.
Because of my health, the socially promised path has been thwarted, but I hope you see it for a long time in your life.
The Buddha jumped out of the royal family. Socrates drank poison. Thoreau went into the woods. Joseph Campbell to the countryside, and the Nearings to the world of self-sufficiency…
You know all about great things. Walking the road that others like is the road to death that all adults and mentors say. Rather, my own path, at first I thought it was a path of thorns, but later on, a path that is highly regarded... Subscribers, like destiny, now have a chance to walk that road.
Before leaving the company, I also had a job where I was socially guaranteed. In the end, I gave up on that path due to internal conflicts and conflicts with the company. And I don't know how much it made me a 'living being'.
Remember the words that the subscriber sympathized with.
Outside of work, who am I?
mah writer
Why did you agree with that statement?
Perhaps another, and perhaps a 'bigger' meaning within the subscriber arouses thirst.
I applaud subscribers for being able to see themselves objectively with philosophical questions even in the face of setbacks. If it were me at 34 years old, I would have lost my mind and wasted my time instead of thinking about it.
cheer up. For now, please focus on healing and recovery. (my latest videoIt has been covered before.)
If you have any good news, please let me know. Thank you for being able to tell me a meaningful story. I am sure that many people will sympathize with the story of the subscribers and look back on themselves. Thanks again for sharing your story.
Perhaps by coincidence, a subscriber who recently received a Ph.D. and continued studying gave up everything (!) and returned to Korea. We also had the opportunity to meet in person. If you see this article, I hope that the senior subscriber will help you one line.
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I can't help but leave a comment because I know very well how exhausting the academic career journey is (for reference, I'm the one who returned to Korea after giving up all my life after the Ph.
I also collapsed and paralyzed my body due to excessive assignments, work, and stress during my doctoral course in the US. Just like Nameless's family, my family always told me to quit and come back anytime, saying that health is the first priority. But when I thought, 'I can quit anytime and go back', it actually became worthwhile. As a result, I was able to complete my degree program most successfully in my department by publishing several SCI(E) theses during my doctoral course. Since I majored in psycholinguistics/brain linguistics, I couldn't find a fit in a Korean university, so I decided to work as a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Hong Kong in accordance with the wishes of my family who wanted to work in a place closer to Korea.
However, working as a faculty member was completely different from the life I had dreamed of. I thought that life as a professor would guarantee a lot of self-determination, but I was wrong. It was only then that I realized that universities are also a place where money is needed after all, so members belonging to the organization must move according to the policies set by the school. Even professors are just people who are hired by an institution called a university, so I don't know why they didn't know that.
I could feel that the right to self-determination was gradually disappearing in my life. The research project had to be changed so that I could receive research funds well rather than the research area or topic I was really interested in, and I had to devote all my time to the performance of the thesis. I couldn't tell how the time of the day was passing or whether the seasons were changing. The balance in my life has completely collapsed. Besides teaching, research, and conference schedules, there was nothing to call life.
Then, all of a sudden, I heard the news that my mother passed away in a car accident in Korea. After thinking about the meaning of life after COVID-19, I began to meditate more on life and death. And about the person I am. One thing I've definitely realized while wandering so far is that I can't stand 'life or relationships without the right to self-determination' to the extreme. So I decided to take a bold step off the road.
The image drawn in my head throughout my school days was a train running like crazy without even knowing where it was going. One day I couldn't even breathe well. As I went along at that crazy pace, I gradually became unsure if the life I really wanted was waiting for me. The Assistant Professor said that it would be okay if he became Associate Professor, but Associate Professors had to be promoted to Professor, so they were more hectic than Assistant Professor and had a lot of work to do. I thought that being a professor would give me the freedom to do the research I wanted, but the people there were completely different from what I expected. There were already many people who complained of health problems due to various diseases while their eyesight was so bad that it was difficult to read small letters. It seemed that he was finally able to do the research he wanted, but it was bittersweet to see him say that he was about to retire.
Even at this stage, I felt that the balance of my life had already collapsed, so I wasn't sure if I would be happy doing the job on the next journey. I felt like the clothes didn't fit me. At the point where I had to prepare for the second half of my life, I really wanted to live my own life for the rest of my life. That's when I got to know a magician that I love so much. I felt strange that there are people in this world who think the same as me. It was as if it came in and out of my heart, and every word he said had the same texture as what I was thinking, so I was amazed. I guess that's why. The reason why all the words of the author came to me as a resonant.
How are you now? After my mother's funeral, I came back after organizing my life in Hong Kong, and I am still wandering. Whether it's freelancing or an online business, starting over is not at all intimidating. I have already learned what the new learning process is like through the doctoral course. However, at the end of the question 'So what do you want to do now?', there was a question about me.
'So, in the end, what kind of person are you and what kind of life do you want to live?' I came to the conclusion that if I can answer this question correctly, I can really start living as a master. So I started doing some research on me. I am examining and recording my reactions while experiencing many things that I have not been able to do before.
Speaking of life satisfaction, I can confidently say that it is much higher than before. Every day, the word 'I'm so happy' comes out of my mouth without even realizing it. Being able to look up at the pretty sky and appreciate it, being able to feel the change in the wind, having time to talk with good people over delicious food. I am grateful and happy for all these things. I am grateful and happy for the process of exploring the things of the world that I did not know because I was studying before and looking at my reaction. It feels like I'm finally studying myself properly, which I should have done when I was younger.
Life sometimes throws unexpected lemons at us. However, through those times, I think I also discover what is really important. I believe that Nameless will be able to spend time to understand himself better while resting and recovering. And if you can answer what I really want in the life of a university professor, I believe you can also answer the question of whether it must be done within the framework of a university. Once you know what you really want, there are many cases where you don't necessarily belong to any organization to find out how to achieve it. I will cheer for Nameless's beautiful wanderings and a life worthy of me afterward!
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